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Thread: Rambling and Gambling

  1. #5041
    Degenerate Member fridge's Avatar
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    My uncle was a successful nh jockey
    Until he was run over by a steamroller
    Luckily for him he went on to be a winning flat jockey
    why does it hurt when I pee ? Frank Zappa R.I.P

  2. #5042
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    Quote Originally Posted by fridge View Post
    My uncle was a successful nh jockey
    Until he was run over by a steamroller
    Luckily for him he went on to be a winning flat jockey


  3. #5043
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quixall Crossett View Post

    There are actually times during a normal year when i can go six weeks without one. I usually find that when that happens, three or four bets come along in the space of a week or two. But at the end of the day, there is no racing so there is absolutely Jack Shit i can do about it.
    At least i'm getting the jobs done that i've been putting off and putting off again. The garden is well on its way now and i've chucked away loads of stuff from the garage. That is getting done when the garden is complete.
    I had a day off it yesterday and the missus and i had a nice drive out to Whitby. Plenty of people wandering around enjoying the sun but at the same time, there were far less than normal. The pubs and cafe's were doing a decent trade with plenty of people sat outside in the sunshine. Wetherspoons was doing a roaring trade as usual but sadly, none of them will be doing it today. We had Fish and Chips from one of the few Chippys that was open and then stood in the sun but under cover because the seagulls there are bastards and swoop down and try and nick them out of your hands.

    It will soon be May
    Thurles?

  4. #5044
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    Quote Originally Posted by fridge View Post
    My uncle was a successful nh jockey
    Until he was run over by a steamroller
    Luckily for him he went on to be a winning flat jockey
    Thats the spirit fridge, keep them coming.

  5. #5045
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
    Thurles?
    I dont do Irish mate. There's enough to keep on top of with the UK racing and any more racing or sports would just dilute that.
    I do obviously keep up to date with the better horses and racing both flat and jumps but the ordinary run of the mill stuff like today i swerve. But i will watch it.

    I say to the younger ones i get to know who like a bet that they should concentrate on what they know and not go and bet on everything that moves. I see people having bets on Polish second division games and Argentinian third division games. What the f*** is that all about. They bet on obscure tennis matches where they have probably never even heard of the player they are backing.
    I've just looked on the Bet365 site and top of the page to bet on s a football game from the Belarus Premier League. I couldnt name you one team from that league. Come to think of it, i couldnt name you a place in Belarus.
    You can also bet on "Futsal" (what the f*** is that ?), also womens friendly football, table tennis, handball etc etc. They'll be betting on how long i spend cleaning the f***ing garage out next !!!!!!!
    I'm sorry but anyone who gets involved in anything like that shouldnt really be allowed any money. But the truth is they wont have it for long.

    I love Rugby, both League and Union. I dont follow any particular teams but i would much rather watch rugby than football. And i like to think i know a bit about both games. But you would have to put a gun to my head to make me want to bet on a game.

    Stick to what you know !!!!! Dont weaken !!!!!!!!! And for christs sake dont go chasing, especially on those bloody online games and casinos !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISCIPLINE !!!!!!!!!!


    Here endeth todays lesson.

    Bet you wish you hadnt mentioned Thurles now.

  6. #5046
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    I've googled Futsal and apparently it is 5 a side football.

    Why the f*** dont they just call it 5 a side then ???!!!

  7. #5047
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
    Thurles?
    horse racing is a tax on the stupid.

  8. #5048
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    I'll go first fridge and then you can take over.

    There are no curries in Currys.

    There are no boots in Boots.

    I'm going to the Virgin Megastore next

  9. #5049
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quixall Crossett View Post
    I'll go first fridge and then you can take over.

    There are no curries in Currys.

    There are no boots in Boots.

    I'm going to the Virgin Megastore next
    There are no "she wee's" in Lloyds chemist either (if anyone knows what they are?) A girl at work went in to buy some for a festival and the woman behind the counter said "we haven't got any, have you tried Boots?" . She said, "Yes but it keep leaking out of the lace holes"

    The old ones are (apparently) the best

  10. 1 Thanks from:
    fridge

  11. #5050
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quixall Crossett View Post
    I dont do Irish mate. There's enough to keep on top of with the UK racing and any more racing or sports would just dilute that.
    Thought you might have been temporarily tempted to break that rule, nevermind.

    Buy or download every season of Curb Your Enthusiasm to keep you entertained in the meantime.

  12. #5051
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
    Buy or download every season of Curb Your Enthusiasm to keep you entertained in the meantime.
    A very apt suggestion given the lack of racing

    I tried watching in on a friend's recommendation. Didn't think much to it to be honest. A bit "samey"

  13. #5052
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    Fair enough.

    New season is brilliant, still going strong after 20 years.

    Try Gomorrah instead so.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2049116/

  14. #5053
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    Is it on netflix?

  15. #5054
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    Nope, Proxybay.

  16. #5055
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    I've just read a report that shows how low these bookmaking firms will go to get every penny they can out of those people who just cant stop. Not that i needed any confirmation because i have heard many things from friends and ex colleagues who are still in the industry. I know about the emails they send out to their staff regarding the FOBTS and i also know they would deny everything.
    But this piece is about certain MP'S who are trying to get the firms to limit punters to 50 a day max punting.
    Yeah, dream on MP's.
    It goes on to say that an internal email, sent by one of William Hills senior managers, advises staff to "tell their customers about all the other things they can bet on including handball and Japanese baseball". And they are told to tell the customers that those sports are proving very popular.
    These people are the lowest of the low and should be named and shamed. Anybody who sends out stuff like that should be sacked immediately and made to go and do something useful like clearing the dog shit off the paths.
    Its a similar sort of thing to the email that the son of a mate showed me a couple of months ago. He had taken a picture of it on his phone and his dad sent him round to show me. This was from one of Hills main competitors on the High Street and it was instructing the staff that the comfy seats in front of the FOBTS were to be kept spotlessly clean at all times, that machine players were to be offered tea and coffee all the time and basically their job was to keep the punters playing the machine for as long as possible. So much for responsible gambling. He told me of two occasions where he raised an issue to his manager about a punter playing on the machine for too long, and also playing two machines at the same time, but the reply he got from his manager was that they needed to keep the figures up and they were behind target for the month.
    The playing of two or more machines is one of the trigger points that the Gambling Commission say to watch out for when monitoring potential problem gamblers. But of course nobody actually believes that many punters are spoken to about their playing because at the end of the day, the staff need punters to play away on the bloody things as it keeps them in a job.
    He also showed me another email that said that all staff had to "push" the slots, bingo and lotteries as much as they could and if they failed to hit their targets they would have to send in a written explanation as to why they failed and what they were going to do about it.
    He only worked for them for a couple of months but in that time he said that he never saw a single email that had anything to do with horse racing.

    Pure scum, thats all they are !!!
    Last edited by Quixall Crossett; 23-03-2020 at 14:22.

  17. #5056
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    Bit on the quiet side innit ?!

    I've been watching re-runs of old Grand Nationals. One of the suggestions on Google news this morning was was to watch the 1980 race which Ben Nevis won. I then watched Lucius win his and then Seagram and Last Suspect and a few more. It took me back in time to when i was working in the betting shop and looked forward to that day every year. It was hectic from opening to close but i used to love them. Along with a few others on here i would imagine that we have many a tale to tell about Grand National day and i would suspect that most of them would concern the once a year punters. I can think of five or six off the top of my head straight away but i remember one that had the regulars in the shop in fits of laughter while at the same time i was trying to tear out every single hair in my head !!!!!
    It was about 1988 ish, the race was done and i set about settling the few thousand bets that we had took. Like all other shops, we used to have a notice up saying National bets wiil be paid out 30 mins after the race had been run. So i had got them all done and the three of us mucked in together to pay them out. And it was always the once a year punters who were first in. Usually about the time the third horse was passing the post
    So it was all going well and although there was a bit of a queue, it was moving nicely. Then the cashier said there was a problem with a few bets and would i have a look. So i checked them over and told the lady that they were spot on. Now i cant remember the exact figure that i gave her, bearing in mind that it was over 30 years ago, but it was around 45. She had put about ten slips on and backed the second horse twice, the third horse three times and the fourth horse once, all each way. She told me again that she was expecting far more so i did them a third time and still l got the same. So she refused to accept it and took the slips away with her. The lads who were in were saying things like, "once a year punters, they havent got a clue". Anyway, twenty minutes passes and then four blokes walk in. One was smartly dressed and well spoken and the other three just looked like bouncers.
    So the well spoken one asked me to pay his slips which were the ones that the lady had given in earlier. I told him 45. Thats when the condescending, patronising sarcastic nonsense started. It went something like this -

    Him - Did you ever go to school ?
    Me - Pardon
    Him - I said did you ever go to school !
    Me - What is your point ?
    Him - Did they teach you to count ?
    Me - Of course
    Him - Did you not listen then ?
    Me - Most of the time
    Him - Can you still remember how to count ?
    Me - Just tell me what your point is !
    Him - Did you manage to reach the level of multiplication ?
    Me - Your point please
    Him - How did you manage to get a job involving figures if you cant count.
    Me - Would you like to tell me exactly what you want ?
    Him - What i would like to know is how many other people you have ripped off or tried to rip off !
    Me - What exactly is your problem coz i dont find you funny.

    So he then started to tell me that i was ripping him off, and then said i was thieving, because there was over 180 coming off those bets and i was only giving him 45.
    His "minders" were getting closer to the counter and looked up for a bit of chew. So i picked up his slips and looked at the first one. It was 1 e.w on the third horse which was 33/1. So i aid to him "Right, 1 e.w. on that one pays 9.25.
    "No", he said, there is over 40 off that and that goes for the other two bets on it. "Forty three pounds and twenty five pence to be exact" !! "Told you yer couldnt count" !
    I was gobsmacked. Even some of the regulars in the shop who were listening in sussed straight away what he had done.
    So i said to him, "You would have had Forty three pounds and twenty five pence off that slip if the horse had won" ! "But it was only third so you only have the place money. "And the same for your two bets on the second and your bet on the fourth" !!!!

    The daft had worked them all out as if they had won when all he had was six places.
    I can still see the look on his face. And i can still see two of the regulars, Charlie and Billy, practically rolling on the floor pissing themselves.
    The bloke and his minders had a quick chat, took the 45 off the cashier and left without saying another word. No apology, nothing !!!!
    And he never came back the following year. Strange that !

    One of the lads brought me a pint in from the club next door and that was quickly followed by another one. I think it was the only time i ever drank at work but i sodding well needed them that day.

    F***ing morons !!!!!


    Who's next ????
    Last edited by Quixall Crossett; 23-03-2020 at 18:36.

  18. #5057
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    The year Ben Nevis won the national a mate of mine was working in a hotel in London.

    Now this lad was an absolutely notorious gambler - Everything went - no tomorrow.

    Some of the strokes we ... errrr I mean he pulled to get dosh to gamble were f#*#ing unbelievable - sailing very close to the legal wind you might say.

    A guy that was a genius - had he applied his skills to any other endeavor would have reached the summit.

    But as usual he had done his tank on Friday night at the gollywogs in Wembley or Hackney or wherever.

    Wakes up grand national Saturday completely Jeremy Flint.

    A cigar and a brandy for breakfast, courtesy of the night porter, and he formulates a strategy for the day.

    Everyone loved this guy - You couldn't but - Even I, who could read his mind and knew precisely when he was setting me up to hit me for a oner or a deuce - would succumb - It was kind of worth it just to be in his company - we had some crazy escapades.

    He put the word out among all the hotel staff - cooks - chambermaids - barpersons - managers - that he had been talking to a guest that was getting a helicopter to Liverpool and that owned a horse in the national. This was going to win.

    They all knew he was a gambler - He certainly knew more than them so they all piled in and dispatched him to do the biz.

    As I recall he had over 300 smackers in total to place.

    He didn't want to pick a 100/1 shot as that would not be credible - so he, who read the Sporting Chronicle and the Sporting Life every day of his life came up with the one horse that COULD NOT WIN - And of course - true to form he had nearly done the dosh by the time the national lined up anyway and he did not have a shilling on the horse he advised to his colleagues - BEN NEVIS.

    He could not even return to the hotel to pick up the few meager possessions that he owned - I got a call from him on Monday to pick him up from the boat in Dun Laoghaire - He was returning to the auld sod for a suitable adjournment to let the heat blow over ...
    Last edited by clancy; 23-03-2020 at 19:01.

  19. #5058
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    Some of the strokes we ... errrr I mean he pulled to get dosh to gamble were f#*#ing unbelievable - sailing very close to the legal wind you might say.

    Yeah, that's not "sailing very close to the legal wind" mate, that's just theft.


  20. #5059
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    I am not defending anything - just telling what gambling can do - rambling and gambling is the title here - gambling is a dirty business - the lads sending the emails in QC's post are probably pillars of the community and at the top of the church on Sunday - I know the real world - it's probably not as dirty as drugs - or maybe it is.

    I did love the craic though.

  21. #5060
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    Just watched the replays from Naas today. I normally concentrate on the young horses this time of year and I liked the look of Knight of Malta in the 230 race. Hardly an earth-shattering revelation given that it was the favourite but it seemed to stumble slightly when breaking. Ran pretty straight and true for a young horse (as it did on its debut last time out). O'Brien horse so probably won't get much of a price on it but looking like it could be a likely winner soon.

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